Pushing hard between my memories, comes to my tongue a sad passage, one of the first ones, and today i wanna share it with you, this conversation makes part of a group of flashing memories that some times comes to me in the darkness moments.
Granny was sick at the cardiology center down town at the santander capital city, far far away from the town where i was living then, after a 7 and a half hours travel through an open trail, we arrive to the city at 1100 hours, and even though it was already happend 8 hours since our arrival, mommy was reluctant to take me to the hospital to see granny…………………… i was boring to death on that day!, after all i was just a 3 year old kid, however, something odd begin to change the day.
Like magically, i win a blank check, if i wanted something, i noticed that on that monday, everything was only at one “i want it mommy” of distance. Toys, junk food, clothes………any way, all those forbidden pleasures, carefully reserved to my birthday or xmas, that was the day when i started to think that i was actually some sort of prince or something koollllllllll, it was that, or the other unlikely chance was that i was death and finally a reached heaven, hahahahaha, heil glory, but the tale was just beginning, and that glory was meant to end on a dark amen.
Untill that moment the day was awesome, but i was so so tired, that i ask to mommy, when i was going to see granny.
Mommy say nothing, then a funny siphony stole my attention….an small group of musicians poorly dressed were playing a happy song in front of us, with my eager eyes wide open i wonder to my mommy, moooooooooooommy…….what are they doing? and mommy said to me-“they are praying to their god while they play at the same time.
-Fabian:”moooooooooommy……………………….. Can i play with them?
With a tender funny face Mommy said, “ofcourse you can my cupcake”.
I run to join to the fest, and while i was taking distance from my parents, i listen to my dad who just arrived asking to my mom,
-“Did you told him?”, and exhaling in a whisper i listen from my mom.
“I don’t have the heart to do it”.
By that time i was jumping around with my hands raised to he air, and singing the song, hare krishna, krishna hare, hare hare, hare krishna……….i still laugh when i look back and remember how easy was to be happy on the kinder garden days; on a crazy twist my eyes lied down on my mom who was crying on my dad’s shoulder…………then, in that exact moment i realized that i will never see granny again, but in my crying, i keep jumping…..praying to god, that please make her rest in peace.
I miss you granny.
I love you. T_T
Happy woman’s day.
Edgar Fabian Gil Amado
The Sight Behind The Dark